What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

pizzano is a tool.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's up? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops