Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Two fish are in a tank. It is an average sized tank designed to hold aquatic animals.

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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