How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why? Because.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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WNBA

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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