What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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What does? 42

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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