Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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