Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "It sure is hot in here". The other muffin says, "Yeah like 350, 375".

So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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