Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

What is an anti-joke? This is.

roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

I HATE G-SPOT AND BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Donkey lips

What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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