What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Jesus like pizza? Because he didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4,808

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ANDERS!! Thanks for the warnins, I mean I wuld beat you up even when I can barely move, but I just told the doc and the nurse to shut this door, thanks man, would never thought about that if you had not warned me... beat me up when I am poisoned? Your mom replied, it sasy "I do not like the idea" You know what I told you about not right? DO NOT THINK ABOUT A blue elephanT! WOSH BLUE ELEPGANT IN YOur MIND, ITS LIKE SAYING I AM NOT INTEREsted in KNOWING MUCH MORE! Your sister? YOu know she has a crush on me, ill fuck her so hard youul will know when she wont be able to walk straight or sit YES Id meet you, but you know... Ladies first... PS: OF Co0uRse iTS mY dick, in her mouth, it looks wrong because I AM FULL ON VALIUM YOu POISONOUS VENOM I wont turoture you, I mean not physically, but consider this the first picture, and if you want to see your mom and sister nekkid, then keep receiving picks. My skin is tan, yet they call me Black, the cloror of my soul. read below people, I am gonna bang his sistar, and his mom, watch out for the nekkid pics before they get removed on... Rate my ex, yeaaaah... any moment now, dont adress me anymore Anders, becuz the door is closed, and I cant saty awak anymore, nobody is coming in the doc said, its the bald guy with the smile, I told him to give you my phone with the last pic, he said maybe and asked if you wound nt get mad... Screw that phone, its full of your girlfriends nekkid pics anyways XD, he caught me sticking the finger btw, not the rest... And fuck you. Nero, the fucker.... Soon...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops