Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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GADZOOKS!

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69

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Double-whammy

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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