Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

Junior's love life.

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

outside your comfort zone

What would you rather do or drag a board?

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

just in time?

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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