Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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