Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three blondes walk into a community college.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +8

girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops