Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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*prepares this to get negged*

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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A woman wears a dress.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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