Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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