Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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YO FACE

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops