What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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LIFE :(

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Black people stink of shite!

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops