What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens are very absent-minded creatures. the chances are the chicken saw some form of bug or other edible life form from across the road and decided to venture over in that direction. if the road was not there, the chicken would most likely have still crossed that same expanse of ground, regardless of potential consequences.

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What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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9/11.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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