What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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Jersey Shore.

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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