Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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