so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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