Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

why did my iphone screen get scratched :(? because i dropped it ):

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

Two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffins says "God its hot in here." The other muffin screams "AHHHH talking muffin!!!!"

What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Obama being reelected.

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

An englishman, Irishman and scottishman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Irishman and englishman both jump off the cliff. The scottishman says "oh,shit".

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a firefighter.

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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