A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Once upon a time, The end.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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