Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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