what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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