Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Who is a better president, Bush or Obama? Both have their Pros and Cons.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Hello

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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