Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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whats long and green? weed

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops