Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What comes after 69... Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops