If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

. pussy . I don't get it ? .of course you don't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops