A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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