What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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My life :(

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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