Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Poverty.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" And nothing happened.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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