When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Your mom.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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How do you kill a blonde? Irreversibly damage her vital organs to the point where she loses consciousness and will never wake again.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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