- Anti Joke

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it.

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Knock knock. Who's there?

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

+40,511

Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

Starter clothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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