Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

thumb_up thumb_down

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -20

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops