what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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japan4.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops