A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The Pope

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +286

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +312

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops