why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

knock knock? come in

Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

Take part of what?

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

knock knock go away

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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