Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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