What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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knock knock who's there ?

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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