Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why is the sky blue? the game

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

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Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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