If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i named my son Frodo because he was little

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why am i on this site? cause its funny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops