A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Many pirates were illiterate and so did not know any letters, much less have a favorite. However, even if this pirate were able to read, it is unlikely that we would be able to find out his favorite letter without asking him, since pirates were primarily in existence two to four centuries ago. In addition, most people don't have a favorite letter, and so a pirate would probably not be an exception.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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A man takes a prostitute to a hotel room, right? The woman is a federal agent, assigned to investigate high prostitution levels in the area. The man is promptly arrested, and now a large fine and up to 90 days in a correctional facility.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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