What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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