Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Beka has AIDS

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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