Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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