What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

25

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma so fat she's obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops