A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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