can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

im a willy bum bum

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A horse cantered into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops