A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Yellow People !!

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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