Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Morning wood.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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sure!

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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