What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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I'm not here.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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