Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

What's black and blue and red all over Sex

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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