Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops