Your mums a penis joke.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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