Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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