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How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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