Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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