Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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minorities

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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