Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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John lazzaro likes dick

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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KOOKABURRA

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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