Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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A dyslexic blind man

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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ha.

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Winter

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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