Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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