What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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