A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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GUYS LISTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT THIS TO BE THE MOST DISLIKED JOKE EVER !!!!!!!! PLEASE :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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