Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

jewish people like other jewish people.

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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