what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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