Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops