Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops