A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Minecraft.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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Womens' rights.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Hello Braydon

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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