Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Are you a tree? No.

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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