why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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