1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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9/11.

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What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

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Women's rights.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Sorry boss

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Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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