Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

A woman walks into a bar.

were you expecting a joke

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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