Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops