Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Nice belt.

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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why does column have a letter n?

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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