What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your dad is so fat that he is on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

thumb_up thumb_down +27

david your girlfriend has a nice ass

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops