Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats long and hard? a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -24

trumpy trumpy trump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops