Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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The economy.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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